There’s no denying that New York City is the capital of diversity. You meet people from all walks of life in this grand city. But, somehow, even though there is an endless ebb and flow of people coming into this city, you will always meet the same five people on your subway commute.
The Makeup Artist: This person is a true talent. They are not phased by the constant bumping around and jolting starts and stops of the train. Liquid eyeliner remains perfect regardless of the turbulence. Watching this person transition from sleepy, makeup-free everyday commuter to stunning, contoured supermodel is actually amazing. They literally walk off of the train an entirely new person – from drab to fab. This person is a master of contouring and – if space is an issue – of contortion. They are able to apply their flawless faces in the smallest and most inconvenient of spaces.
The Narcoleptic: This person is the envy of many, as they can sleep anywhere and everywhere. This person however, can take many shapes – from the exhausted graduate student, to the overworked parent, to the homeless man laying on the floor. The Narcoleptic knows no single form. This person can sleep through absolutely anything and they fall asleep in the most uncomfortable positions. And that’s uncomfortable for everyone. They have no qualms for letting their head dangle to and fro and, possibly even on your shoulder, if you ride with them long enough. Though this person can be in the deepest of slumbers, they , somehow, never miss their stop. Teach me your ways.
The Multi-Tasker: This person can be found reading, listening to music, keep up on social media, studying, texting, and emailing all during the same commute. Never missing a beat or letting one minute go to waste, this is the modern-day Renaissance Person. They do more in one train ride than I can get done in an entire day. Fun Fact: this person is also the most fun to creep on while enduring your daily commute.
The Oblivious One: This person is so focused on their phone or book that the entire city could come crumbling down around them and they would have no idea. This person will almost always have headphones in, listening to the latest podcast or underground album. Almost always in the form of a Millennial and does. Not. Look. Up. Ever. No interaction with another human. This is our future, people!
The Musician: This person is not to be confused with the actual performers who interrupt your morning commute. This “performer” has their headphones on and their voices loud, as they are actively singing along to their favorite artists. For all to hear. Whether you want to or not. They think they are that good. They’ve mastered all of their favorite’s moves and can be seen watching themselves kill it in the smudged reflections of the windows of the train. They’re giving it all they’ve got – hoping to be discovered by Simon Cowell. Sorry guys, Simon travels by private car.
Special appearances can be made by: A homeless man sleeping on four open seats, a person begging for money, a break-dancing group that almost kicks you in the face five times, and a mariachi band. Welcome to New York!